"DEBUT author Angela Lawrence has written an inspiring and poignant modern day story about a single woman who defies convention, using a sperm donor to give her the child she wants.
Here, she tells news.com.au why she just had to write The Rules of Conception:
"While watching a series of interviews focusing on mothers having babies via anonymous sperm donors, as a single mother I noticed two things. The first was that, despite these women being smart, attractive, financially secure loving mothers with strong support networks, these interviews cast them as slightly disappointed and isolated by their choice.
The second thing I noticed was their lack of preparedness in responding to questions about their sperm donor - his motivation, the number of children he'd sired, how the children would feel about him in the future.
As a single mother who feels neither disappointed nor isolated, these interviews inspired me to research and write The Rules of Conception - which is a story about Rachel, a woman who decides to have a baby by herself, how she goes about finding Digby, her donor, and the journey they both take in her quest for a baby.
Sperm donation is a topical issue and one that's becoming more relevant as Generation X move into their mid-thirties and forties. The women who embark on this journey are those you meet at work, see chatting in bars with their friends and living their lives to the full. While I imagine no one sets out to become a single mother, for many it doesn't seem like Plan B when the decision is made.
At the same time, the media and public are trying to get their heads around why some men are willing to help them with seemingly, no gain for themselves.
To better understand the options available to single women, I read books on the subject and visited the many forums and websites available to women online before applying this same approach to the main character as she decides on the kind of donor she wants for her baby.
"It's all very impressive, but at the same time I can't imagine myself shipping sperm into the country. I have a surreal image of myself walking down to the local post office and queuing to pick up a cylinder wrapped in dry ice amid all the nice locals who are mailing off birthday cards and picking up ebay wins…I cross anonymous donor off my list and add "known donor or co-parent."
To better understand the motivations of known donors, I looked to international studies on the subject, and was lucky enough to speak to men in my wider social circle who had become known donors as well as talking to those on local and international sperm donor forums. From this, I was able to identify that there were three main motivators for sperm donation.
Firstly, there are a lot of men out there who simply want to know that they've sired a child. They either don't want to raise children or have chosen a lifestyle where they may not get the chance. Some like the idea of meeting their children later in life when it's more important to them. Secondly is the desire to help others. Lots of these men are already fathers and genuinely believe everyone should be given the chance to be a parent.
Genetic superiority can also be a factor. There is a subset of men who believe that genetically they have a lot to offer but through observation, I would caution that this is often coupled with another motivator.
It was at this point that I created the donors Rachel approaches before settling on Digby - a single, softly spoken Canadian with a complicated family background, who wants to have a child, but not raise a child.
"Rachel, I didn't have a normal family life as a child, I'm not like you. I don't pine to know what a solid family like is like, because I like the life I have. I like to travel. I'm into my career...I like not having to worry about money - or a child for that matter." [Digby smiles]. "I admire you for wanting to take that on."
While The Rules of Conception explores the friendship that develops between Rachel and Digby, I also wanted to focus on the impact of pregnancy on a single woman's life. While drawing from a number of areas including single mother by choice literature, research studies, websites and forums, my own experiences as a single mother also contributed to Rachel's evolution from single thirty something to single mother.
For woman embarking on single motherhood suddenly everything is magnified - the importance of job security and money, the complexity of dating and romance, the reactions of others and the prospect of taking on such huge responsibility alone. And while I read a great deal and observed the experiences of others, this is a coming of age novel and as the novel progresses, there's definitely a bit of me in Rachel as well."
The Rules of Conception is available for RRP $ 29.99 at all good book stores nationally or at www.harlequinbooks.com.au
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Quelle: http://www.perthnow.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/single-mother-sperm-donor-breaking-all-the-rules-of-conception/story-fnhqgv0m-1226638763530